Thopter Pie Network

Target creature you control climbs into Goblin Sleigh Ride. You slide them on their merry way. If the creature stayed on, it deals damage equal to its toughness to each other creature touched during the slide.

Whenever a creature deals damage to you, put a globe counter on it. T, Q, T, Q, T: Tap all creatures with globe counters on them.

At the beginning of your upkeep, destroy another nonland permanent chosen at random, then put a number of +1/+1 counters on Yule Ooze equal to that permanent's converted mana cost. RG, Eat some food: Regenerate Yule Ooze.

Flying Whenever Bog Humbugs deals combat damage, hum that many notes of a festive song. If you can, put a +1/+1 counter on Bog Humbugs.

Decorated cards in your hand have miracle S. (Decorated cards include premiums, promos, and cards with alternate frames or art.) At the beginning of your upkeep, if you control twelve or more decorated permanents, you win the game.

B, Sacrifice a creature: Distribute the sacrificed creature's keyword abilities among any number of other target creatures until end of turn. If it's December, you gain 1 life for each of those keywords.

T, Sacrifice this token: Add one mana of any color.

Pitch the titles of up to X holiday-themed sequels to target spell. Copy that spell for each title pitched, except the copy has that name. You may choose new targets for the copies. (Simply adding numbers isn't festive enough.)