Old Fogey

2, T: Create a 2/2 colorless Homunculus creature token. It must be represented by a unique hand and two fingers at all times, or it ceases to exist.

As long as X is in X's owner's opponent's hand, X's owner may cast X and activate X's abilities. That opponent can't cast X and plays with their hand revealed. UB, T: Put X into target opponent's hand. 3UB: You may play a land or cast a spell from the hand X is in. If you cast a spell this way, you cast it without paying its mana cost.

When The Grand Calcutron enters, each player's hand becomes a program (an ordered row of revealed cards). Players can play only the first card of their program. If a card would be put into a player's hand from anywhere, that player reveals it and places it anywhere within their program instead. At the beginning of each player's end step, if that player's program has fewer than five cards, they draw cards equal to the difference. The Grand Calcutron can be your commander.

Flying Whenever this creature attacks, you may search your library for an artifact card, exile it, then shuffle. This creature has the text box of each card exiled with this creature in addition to its own.

When this artifact enters, shuffle your library and deal it into four libraries. If anything refers to your library, choose one of your libraries for it. Play with your libraries' top cards revealed. When this artifact leaves the battlefield, shuffle your libraries together.

2, T: Move a counter from one permanent onto another. If the second permanent refers to any kind of counter, the moved counter becomes one of those counters. Otherwise, it becomes a +1/+1 counter. 3, T: Put a +1/+1 counter on target creature. 4, T: Proliferate. (Choose any number of permanents and/or players, then give each another counter of each kind already there.)

Whenever you cast a wordy spell, scry 2. (A spell is wordy if it has four or more lines of rules text.) 1R, T: Choose target creature you don't control. Reveal the top card of your library. Alexander Clamilton gets +X/+0 until end of turn, where X is the number of lines of rules text of the revealed card. Alexander Clamilton fights that creature.

When this creature enters, choose beginning phase, first main phase, combat phase, postcombat main phase, or ending phase. Steal that phase from target player during their next turn. (That phase occurs as though it's your turn instead.)