Unhinged

Did you know this creature has flying? Are you aware that any time you say something that isn't a question, when a player points out this fact first, they gain control of this creature?

Play cards as written. Ignore all errata. T: Add C. (This mana is still added to your mana pool.)

Each player sacrifices all permanents that are rare or mythic rare, then each player reveals their hand and discards all cards that are rare or mythic rare.

Whenever this creature deals damage to a creature, put a third-degree-burn counter on that creature. It gains "At the beginning of each end step, sacrifice this creature unless you scream 'Aaah!' at the top of your lungs."

If you control two or more green permanents that share an artist, you may cast this spell without paying its mana cost. Exile target artifact.

You may play cards as though they were other cards of your choice with the same mana cost. You can't choose the same card twice. (Mana cost includes color.)

Super haste (This may attack the turn before you cast it. (You may put this card from your hand onto the battlefield tapped and attacking during your declare attackers step. If you do, you lose the game at the beginning of your next turn's end step unless you pay this card's mana cost during that turn.))

2, T: This artifact deals 1 damage to target player. Then untap this artifact unless that player says "Thank you, sir. May I have another?"

You may have S.N.O.T. enter stuck to another creature named S.N.O.T. If you do, all those creatures form a single creature. S.N.O.T.'s power and toughness are each equal to the square of the number of cards named S.N.O.T. stuck together to form it. (One is a 1/1, two are a 4/4, three are a 9/9, and four are a 16/16. If you manage to get -1 S.N.O.T.s stuck together, it's a 1/1.)

Sauté deals 3½ damage to any target.

Choose one — • Target player gains 2½ life. • Prevent the next 2½ damage that would be dealt to target creature this turn. Gotcha — If an opponent says "save" or "life," you may say "Gotcha!" When you do, return Save Life from your graveyard to your hand.

This creature enters with up to two shoe counters on it. Use your shoes as counters. This creature gets +1/+1 for each shoe counter on it.

You and target opponent arm-wrestle. If you win, create a 3/3 green Ape creature token.

As this creature enters, you secretly put six or fewer +1/+1 counters on it, then an opponent guesses the number of counters. If that player guesses right, sacrifice this creature after it enters.

Whenever this creature attacks, choose a card name. If defending player has no cards with the chosen name in their hand, they may reveal their hand. If they don't reveal their hand, this creature can't be blocked this turn.

Counter target spell. Gotcha — If an opponent says "spell" or "counter," you may say "Gotcha!" When you do, return Spell Counter from your graveyard to your hand.

As long as you're standing, this creature has vigilance.

"Until end of turn" and "this turn" effects don't end.

Whenever this creature blocks or becomes blocked by a creature with fewer letters in its name, destroy that creature at end of combat. (Punctuation and spaces aren't letters.) Whenever an opponent reads this creature, that player is turned to stone until end of turn. Stoned players can't attack, block, cast spells, or activate abilities.

Target player discards a card. Gotcha — If an opponent audibly flicks the cards in their hand, you may say "Gotcha!" When you do, return this card from your graveyard to your hand.

Target creature gets +3½/+3½ until end of turn.

(T: Add B.)

Create a 1/1 colorless Expansion-Symbol creature token for each different expansion symbol among permanents you control.

T: Choose a word. Target player mills a card. If a card with the chosen word in its text box was milled this way, they lose 3 life.