Unhinged

At the beginning of your upkeep, you may say "Ach! Hans, run! It's the . . ." and the name of a creature card. If you do, search your library for a card with that name, put it onto the battlefield, then shuffle. That creature gains haste. Exile it at the beginning of the next end step.

Exile target attacking creature. Then remove it from the game. Then put it into the absolutely-removed-from-the-freaking-game-forever zone.

Choose an artist. Exile the top six cards of your library, then reveal cards from the top of your library until you reveal a card with art by the chosen artist. Put that card in your hand and exile all other cards revealed this way.

Whenever a player plays a spell that counters a spell that has been played or a player plays a spell that comes into play with counters, that player may counter the next spell played or put an additional counter on a permanent that has already been played, but not countered.

T: Draw a card, then discard a card. Whenever a permanent that shares an artist with another permanent you control enters, untap this creature.

Destroy target silver-bordered or acorn permanent in any game you can see from your seat.

Each other Donkey gets +1½/+1½. Whenever another Donkey enters, untap target creature and gain control of it until end of turn. That creature gains haste until end of turn.

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This spell costs 1 more to cast for each ten years you've been alive. Avatar of Me's power is equal to your height in feet and its toughness is equal to your American shoe size. Round to the nearest ½. Avatar of Me is the color of your eyes.

Trample Whenever a player casts a spell, put a chip counter on its mana value. This creature gets +9/+9 for each set of three numbers in a row with chip counters on them.

1B, Growl: Regenerate this creature.

Madness R, cycling 1R, kicker 2R, flashback 3R, buyback 4R Blast from the Past deals 2 damage to any target. If this spell was kicked, create a 1/1 red Goblin creature token.

When the names of three or more nonland permanents begin with the same letter, sacrifice this creature. If you do, it deals 2 damage to each creature and each player.

Open a sealed Magic booster pack, reveal the cards, and put one of them into your hand. (Remove that card from your deck before beginning a new game.)

Whenever you cast a spell, you may gain ½ life for each word in that spell's name.

T: Target permanent's artist becomes the artist of your choice until end of turn.

This creature can't be blocked as long as defending player controls two or more nonland permanents that share an artist.

Flying Gotcha — If an opponent touches the table with their hand, you may say "Gotcha!" When you do, return this card from your graveyard to your hand.

Flying At the beginning of your upkeep, sacrifice this creature unless you say its flavor text.

Spells you cast cost ½ less to cast.

If Cheatyface is in your hand, you may sneak Cheatyface onto the battlefield. If an opponent catches you right away, that player may exile Cheatyface. Flying

As this enchantment enters, choose an artist. 1W: The next time a source of your choice with art by the chosen artist would deal damage to you this turn, prevent that damage. 1W: Return this enchantment to its owner's hand.

This land enters tapped. T: Add one and one-half mana of any one color.

W, Give an opponent a nonland card you own from outside the game: Prevent the next 1 damage that would be dealt to you or this creature this turn.