Unsanctioned

Exile target attacking creature. Then remove it from the game. Then put it into the absolutely-removed-from-the-freaking-game-forever zone.

Whenever you cast a spell, note the first letter of its artist's name. If that letter wasn't already noted, put a +1/+1 counter on this creature.

Whenever you cast a spell with a squirrel in its art, you get A (an acorn counter). Whenever a Squirrel you control enters or dies, you get A. 2B, Pay X A: Target creature gets -X/-X until end of turn. G, Pay X A: Target creature gets +X/+X until end of turn.

When this creature enters, roll a six-sided die. You gain life equal to the result.

Whenever you cast a wordy spell, scry 2. (A spell is wordy if it has four or more lines of rules text.) 1R, T: Choose target creature you don't control. Reveal the top card of your library. Alexander Clamilton gets +X/+0 until end of turn, where X is the number of lines of rules text of the revealed card. Alexander Clamilton fights that creature.

This spell costs 1 more to cast for each ten years you've been alive. Avatar of Me's power is equal to your height in feet and its toughness is equal to your American shoe size. Round to the nearest ½. Avatar of Me is the color of your eyes.

Trample Whenever a player casts a spell, put a chip counter on its mana value. This creature gets +9/+9 for each set of three numbers in a row with chip counters on them.

As B.O.B. enters, create four 1/1 blue Beeble creature tokens. The number of loyalty counters on B.O.B. is equal to the number of Beebles you control. (Create or sacrifice Beebles whenever B.O.B. gains or loses loyalty.) +1: Up to X target Beebles can't be blocked this turn, where X is the number of cards in your hand. −1: Draw a card.

Flying At the beginning of each end step, if an opponent lost 3 or more life this turn, Augment 1B (1B, Reveal this card from your hand: Combine it with target host. Augment only as a sorcery.)

Madness R, cycling 1R, kicker 2R, flashback 3R, buyback 4R Blast from the Past deals 2 damage to any target. If this spell was kicked, create a 1/1 red Goblin creature token.

As this creature enters and whenever it attacks, stack two dice on top of it. (All dice must be stacked vertically, one on top of another.) This creature gets +1/+1 for each die in its stack. This creature attacks each combat if able. When the stack falls, sacrifice this creature.

Open a sealed Magic booster pack, reveal the cards, and put one of them into your hand. (Remove that card from your deck before beginning a new game.)

Spells you cast cost 1 less to cast. You must speak in a voice other than your normal voice. When you speak in your normal voice, sacrifice this artifact.

Flying At the beginning of your upkeep, sacrifice this creature unless you say its flavor text.

If Cheatyface is in your hand, you may sneak Cheatyface onto the battlefield. If an opponent catches you right away, that player may exile Cheatyface. Flying

Whenever a 6 is rolled on a six-sided die, put a +1/+1 counter on each Bird. (You may roll dice only when instructed to.) Tap an untapped Bird you control: Roll a six-sided die. (Like now.)

Whenever a player casts a spell without asking your permission while casting it, counter that spell. When a player asks you permission to cast a spell and you refuse, counter that spell and sacrifice this enchantment.

When this creature enters, you may discard a card. If you do, draw a card.

When this creature enters, target opponent discards a card.

Destroy target creature with reminder text. (Reminder text is any italicized text in parentheses that explains rules you already know.)

As this creature enters, roll a six-sided die twice. Its base power becomes the first result and its base toughness becomes the second result.

Whenever another creature enters, you may stand up and say in a deep, booming voice, "Presenting . . . " and that creature's name. If you do, put a +1/+1 counter on that creature.

Players play a Magic subgame under the table, starting at 5 life and using their libraries as their decks. The winner searches their library for two cards, puts those cards into their hand, then shuffles.

During your turn, if this card is in your hand, you may hide it on the battlefield. 0: Return this artifact to its owner's hand. Only your opponents may activate this ability and only if they see this artifact. 2, Sacrifice this artifact: Destroy target attacking creature.